On Beauty

天凈沙 · 秋思 (Thought in Autumn)

枯藤, 老樹, 昏鴉,

(Withered vine, old tree, dawn crows,)
小橋, 流水, 人家,

(Small bridge, flowing water, farm house,)
古道, 西風, 瘦馬,

(Ancient passage, west wind, skinny horse,)
夕阳西下, 斷腸人, 在天涯。

(Sunset, the heartbroken one, is faraway)

I learned about the lyric/poem above by Ma Zhi Yuan (马致远) back in high school in Malaysia. Ma Zhi Yuan (c.a. 1255 – 1321), was a poet and a magistrate of the Yuan court. Disappointed with the corruption among the official circle, he eventually left the officialdom and chose to lead a life of exile in the country side. The poem was written during the exile. In the poem he seemed to describe a sunset in the country side. But, what he painted in the poem was more than just a scene of desolation. It illustrated his disheartened state of mind, his disappointment toward the Yuan court and its corrupted official circle.

Of the many Chinese poems/ lyrics that I had learnt in school, Ma’s Thought in Autumn, somehow, struck me the most. Perhaps it is because with only a dozen terms he represented a melancholic picture signified the very context of his time. However, beneath the objective superficiality, it transmitted a sense of sorrow that creeps into our sensibility. Such feeling strikes the readers as a flow of spring water. It is comforting, non-pressuring, and indulging. It encapsulated us with sadness provoked by simple descriptions of a scene at dusk and we grieve for his tragic life, voluntarily. That is the beauty of this lyric.

A similar kind of sorrow was re-portrayed in the movie To Live (活着) by Zhang Yimou (张艺谋). Different from Ma, the ‘hero’ of the movie, Fugui (富贵), is an ordinary person who was trapped within the flow of the drastic social revolutions in China during the first half of the last century. Through the lens of Zhang Yimou, we can see him as a victim who is constantly being situated at the receiving end. He is not out standing. He is someone who easily disappeared in crowd. He goes with the flow yet at the same time he retained a sense of innocence of a simple folk who tries his best to survive the turmoil of history. His life endeavor is best illustrated in his conversation with Youqing(友慶), his ten year old son, during the Great Leap Forward:

“If Youqing does as papa says our lives will get better and better. Our family is like a little chicken. When it grows up, it becomes a goose. And that’ll turn into a sheep. The sheep will turn into an ox.”

Youqing, “And after the ox?”

“After the ox is Communism. And there’ll be dumplings and meat everyday.”

To Fugui, Communism is about a social condition where everyone has enough to feed the family, as simple as that. At the same time, we can sense his optimism about life despite all the difficulties and tragic encounters he experienced due to the change of regime and social and cultural reforms driven by political enthusiasm. Perhaps, we, the audiences, pity him for not having a comfortable life, deprived from materialistic luxury, and being victimized by ideological struggles. Nonetheless, he unfolded to us the bright side of humanity. To me, Zhang Yimou portrayed him as a signifier of the mass of ordinary Chinese people. Life was tough and they have no choice but persevere to live on, with dignity.

So, what is beauty?

It is more than beautiful things. It transcends the superficiality and physicality of beings. It takes many forms and it is insubstantial. It is like spring water that cools us down in the hot summer and warms us in the chill of winter. It is comforting, non-pressuring, and indulging. It shines when we dignified ourselves against all odds. Most importantly, it is omnipresent if we choose to see its presence.

Summer 2009 - Bursting Bubbles and Sun Wukong

It seems like everyone is cutting down on everything these days. What a world. I have been thinking about the whole notion of capitalism and its negative effects on the once innocent human society. I guess, like the Great Proletariat Cultural Revolution in China, it has created an irreversible imprint that we all have to deal with. Worst than the GPCR, it will reoccur periodically and will never go away, If I am not mistaken, this is the second major hit within the past 10 years. I have this impression that the construct of human civilizations has reached a point where its survival relied tremendously on the sustaining of the ‘bubble economy’ (I am not sure if this is a right terminology). The breaking point is always the crash of stock market and the effect immediately dispersed through out the rest of the world. I heard from my former colleague that Singapore government is using national reserves to deal with the economical crisis this time. The act was questioned by some of the citizens. What if the crisis strikes again? I guess we all have to prepare for the coming of such days. All the retirement plans that people have been working toward might eventually burned down to ashes.

I think time was much better when people lead a simple and self-sustainable life. They might not have the luxuries that modern world can provide but they needless to worry about "economical malfunction" as we have today. However, again, they perhaps have other things to worry about. I guess Heaven is very fair on that account.

I have been translating, on and off, one of Pan Gongkai’s essays this summer, it’s 20 pages in length (Chinese character, but I think it will double the size when translated to English), published in 2007. I believe due to his social status in China, his perspective represented one of the possible official views on where Art in China should be heading in contemporary (Modern) world.



I am re-reading, in a crawling pace, The Morning Deluge by Han Suyin that John Baldacchino., my advisor, lend me (need to learn how to read faster though); well, I am taking notes and putting down historical/recorded events on a chronological chart. It was fun, and I can see the picture/context better. The chart is forever expanding with the adding in of other stuff that I am reading or watching. The more I read about Mao, the more I feel he is like the Monkey King (Sun Wukong, 孙悟空) in The Journey to the West (西游记). It finally makes sense to me why the youngsters of the GPCR act in such a radical manner. Mao was like them, or should I say they emulated Mao so much that they lost their own selves totally. Perhaps, for Mao, the society that he grew up with was packed with restrictions that gave him a reason to fight against and at the same time prevented him from going way over board, whilst the youngsters of the Cultural Revolution were cleared of all obstacles; they actually have the freedom to do anything in the name of revolution at all cause.

Maybe I am getting older, somehow, I feel like perhaps a Red China might not be a desirable outcome in the history of China at all, and again, maybe it’s an unavoidable route for the Chinese to value and appreciate their tradition and culture more in the future.

‘American Freedom' and beyond

The whole notion of 'American Freedom' is indeed a big lie. Different from majority of those who live in places where Americans refer to as domain of no freedom of choice, Americans themselves are actually willing give in to systems (in health insurance, credit history, consumerism ... the list goes on) created by their own superstitious in freedom. In fact, all benchmarks for a 'developed society' are actually shackles that suffocated the realization of true freedom (of choice). Unfortunately, it is unlikely that we can escape from them now. The economical crisis is one of the many complications of Man’s endless quest for ‘new frontiers’. The invention of stock market brought more deterioration than advancement to human society. The fall of communism in the 90s is not a triumphant of capitalism but the failure of humanity. Although I believe we ought to lead a life as manifested by Laozi, his ideal society might not be able to realize within the globalized society of today. Thus, we have no other alternative but to continue on along the existing track. We are seriously trapped within its constructs. I used to think one can escape the control of hegemony, but now, I am not sure. Perhaps even a hermit who chose to exile from the society would one day hang himself in front of the omnipresent hegemony.

Nonetheless, as passive as Laozi’s philosophy might appeared to be, I somehow believe the notion of ‘wu wei’ is the ultimate salvation for humanity.

Drizzling Old Age

It has been drizzling in the city since last night and it will continue through out the weekend according to weather broadcast. Weather is getting cooler and Fall season is back.

Received the latest issue of "Marth Stewatrd's Living" a couple of days ago and realized that Halloween is around the corner, again. Time really flies.

My next door neighbour Max, from Argentina, told me that he is working as a model/actor. We had a brief conversation about his work and he told me that he is actually 32, has a master's degree in, I think, business, but decided to change his job to work as a model/actor. To survive in the field, he has to tell people that he is 26. He said,"it's not your actual age but how you live your age that matters." He does look like he is in his mid-twenties to me. He find youthful looking a plus as he has the maturity that a 26-year-old might not have. Not to mention he is able to re-live his twenties all over again, to fulfill his un-fulfilled dreams.

It made me think much about what he said. I guess most people, once reach a certain age, are all cursed by the number game. If we keep thinking that we are getting older we will definitely look old and get old faster. Why should we restrict ourselves to conventional protocol?

Hans Visit

Hansheng came to New York and we met up for dinner last Sunday. It's extremely excited to see him again, I guess what strikes me the most is the content of our conversation. Or to be exact, talking to Hansheng that evening turn into a self-clarification session for my own self and it confirmed and, at the same time, denied some of my earlier thoughts on beings. The initially conflicting notions of result oriented practicality and discursive dialectic progression in life somehow intertwined together, forming a path leading to a more desirable and universal end result for humanity to me. In fact, such conclusion has always been with me, it's just that it was somehow consolidated into a clearer mass that evening. Between the preplanned and reactionary dichotomy, there ought to emerge multiple of possibilities that give answers to the kaleidoscopic phenomenon. As for which answer to subscribe to, it is, again, another idiosyncratic decision that, somehow, lead to another groundless horizon. Nonetheless, the sense of groundlessness is, indeed, a ground floating above a vast field of different possibilities, I guess as Ranciere sees it, and not without a ground.